Cultivating Devotion No Matter the Cost
Isaiah 43:16-21; John 12:1-8
Reality TV is not my jam. But I couldn’t help but get curious about a segment of the TV Show “Survivor” that went viral last week. Contestants on the show are stranded on a remote island. They must outwit, outplay, and outlast each other to win a grand prize. The players are divided into tribes who work together to gather food, build shelter, and compete in physical and mental challenges. Each week at tribal council, one player is voted off the island by their fellow castaways.
In a recently aired episode, two contestants shared this deeply meaningful and personal moment after one intense competition. Eva Erickson was struggling to complete a difficult game challenge. She kept having to start over. Her team couldn’t advance until she got the task done, which would secure her tribe’s immunity. A lot was at stake. Eva is a young adult who has autism, but she had not revealed that to anyone on her team. There was only one other player who knew this about her. Watching the clip, you can see her getting more and more frustrated with the number of times it was taking her to complete the task. Her face was red. She was physically agitated. But in the end, she did it! Her team surrounded her, screaming and hugging her. But she was crying and overstimulated – a thing that happens to neuro divergent people when there are too many sensory inputs at one time (good or bad – it doesn’t matter). Another player saw this happening. He waited and watched to see if she could regulate herself or if she was going to need help. Joe Hunter then crossed the beach and tribal lines to help her find grounding again. He approached her gently, leaned his sweaty head in toward hers until their foreheads touched. He took her hands, gritty with sand, to steady them and said things like, “Shhhhhh. Remember. We’re here. Slow down. Breathe. Remember. You’re in a safe place.” Eva regained normal breath and responses with Joe’s help. Later, Eva revealed her autism to the other players and thanked Joe for understanding the kind of help she needed in that moment. Eva had decided that Joe was someone she could trust. She told him about her autism and explained to him what she would need if she had one of these intense “episodes” as she called it. And he agreed to be in that role with her (outside the game). [1]To watch that scene all play out without the usual reality TV sensationalism was so beautiful and tender, authentic.
It reminded me of this scene we have in John’s gospel. A prelude to Passover, the disciples and Jesus needs time among friends they can trust. Jasmin Pittman describes the collective mood as heavy after the raising of Lazarus from the dead.[2] Jesus' miracle work was gathering more followers and attention. This has set off a priestly plot to kill them both (Jesus and Lazarus)[3]. The disciples had gone to the edge of the wilderness to wait out the religio-political unrest. But their memory of Passover preparations at the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus has their bellies growling and their spirits longing for communion with dear friends. So, they make their way back to Bethany. “Perhaps Martha pauses [from preparation] to welcome Jesus and arranges for a goat to be roasted over an open flame. Maybe she stuffs tender spice cakes with figs. She might stew lentils in the rich aromatics” of cumin and coriander, turmeric, za-atar with onion/garlic/peppers and fresh herbs. (Can you smell it?) She can see that it would do all these road-weary disciples well to have a home-cooked meal. And Lazarus, was also in need of food and fellowship to ground him back in his body, family, and community.
Time around a table with family and friends is grounding.
In step with Mediterranean culture, Mary came with items in hand to wash the feet of the honored guest. She brought with her an extraordinary amount of pure nard, a very expensive essential oil easily recognized by its earthy, musky scent. A subtle sweetness is present as well, balancing the earthy and woody notes, making it a complex and intriguing fragrance. Some describe it as having hints of valerian, or ginger. The scent is known for its calming and grounding properties, like something we would associate with aromatherapy. (Can you smell it?) She doesn’t dab a bit or carefully control how much she pours out. She douses the feet of Jesus, anointing him, John says. And as if that wasn’t enough, she wipes his feet with her hair, an act of complete selflessness. Just weeks before she had fallen at these same feet exclaiming in grief and likely, anger, “If you had been here, my brother wouldn’t have died!” Here, all that emotion is washed in gratitude. She offers a selfless demonstration of complete devotion to the one she knows has the power to overcome death.
Versions of a similar story appear in all four gospels. And in all four the woman is ridiculed for her extravagant waste. I also wonder if she was ridiculed because of the deeply personal nature of her act and how it made everyone in the room so uncomfortable? Interesting how her act compares to the extravagant love of the Father, in last week’s parable, who threw aside conventional norms and ran to meet his lost son who had returned home. Both were able to let go of their concern for what anyone else thought for the sake of their devotion to the one they loved. I wonder if we would be more free to love if we let go of our concern for what others think or say about us.
In John’s gospel, it is Judas who calls her out for being so wasteful. The money spent on the oil could have been used to feed the poor. And yet, Jesus said, Leave her alone! Mary, the 13th disciple who has also been a student of his teaching, understands something about Jesus in this moment that the rest of them do not. For one, she understands completely the Hebrew scripture where it says, “The poor you always have with you. Therefore, I command you, you shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and the poor, in the land.” (Deut. 15:11). She also understands that Jesus is the incarnate of God. And this brother of hers was dead and is now alive. The same will be true of Jesus. She is not yet preparing him for burial with this expensive oil, she is anointing a Messiah. Anointing was the Israelite ritual that marked a king. He is the one who has come to save the poor, the lost, the broken. Her gift of extravagant love will carry Jesus all the way to the cross.
Karoline Lewis said it this way, Jesus is being anointed by a dear friend, not a stranger, a dear friend. He is not going to be with them very much longer. Somehow she knows this. Mary loves him profusely, so she takes this precious moment that they are together to demonstrate this love. Everyone in the room can smell the fragrance of her devotion. Are they as devoted?
When Jesus washes the feet of his betrayer; when he says goodbye to his disciples; when he gives himself up at his arrest; when he goes through his trial; the fragrance of her devotion grounds him. When he carries his cross, when he’s crucified, when he sees his mother, his disciple whom he loved at the foot of the cross, the fragrance of unconditional Love sticks to him. [4]
Over the past few weeks, I’ve heard many personal stories of times that your lives were broken open, hearts laid bare; times when you have been physically and emotionally pushed to your limits, tears fell that just wouldn’t stop flowing, wouldn’t wipe away. In the midst of this heartache, this wilderness, some of you were able to look back and see how God met you in those wilderness places. For others, God’s presence was obscured. But it was the community of the faithful that sustained you. That is when the community incarnates God. When you “open wide your hand” to your neighbor in the form of …a spice cake, a savory dish, a sweet-smelling bouquet; when you whisper reassuring prayers over clasped hands, we help ground one another in the unconditional love of Christ. And that is when we become the fragrance of God. Can you smell it? [Amen]
This table is a physical reminder of a “prodigal” God who recklessly poured out his life for you! We gather here, every one of us in need of the grace of God. This ritual grounds us. Richard Rohr writes, “The very nature of God…is to seek out the deepest possible communion and friendship with every last creature on this earth.”[5] Take your time. Don’t rush. Taste. Savor. See each other on your way to the table. Let yourself be seen and served. These sacred moments are meant to slow you down. Breathe. Remember.
[1] https://www.youtube.com/@survivor
[2] Pittman, Jasmin, Christian Century In the Lectionary, April 6 2025
[3] Sloyan, Gerard, Interpretation commentary series, John
[4] Sermon Brainwave Podcast Working Preacher, Karoline Lewis, Rolf Jacobsen, Matt Skinner
[5] Rohr, Richard The Divine Dance